Touch is a primal form of communication for human beings, critical at both the beginning and end of life. ~ Sandra Lavengood
I vividly remember the weekend we spoke about palliative care and massage therapy when I was in school. I recall having conversations with peers about how this was work I didn't think I could ever do, nor did I image working in this field within my practice.
During my practicum, there was a client at the clinic who was facing cancer and I had the privilege of working with her prior to her illness becoming terminal. When this client passed away I recall the impact it had on me personally and professionally; however, it did not prepare me for the experience of my first end-of-life client.
These past few weeks I have been processing the loss of my first palliative care client - balancing between grieving the loss and embracing the gifts this experience provided me on a professional and personal level. I believe it might be healing for me to share a bit about this experience as a massage therapist, while respecting the privacy of the client and their family.
A few months ago, I was approached about providing massage therapy services to a client residing in a long term care facility who was facing a terminal illness and in the end stages of the disease. I initially did not know if I could "do it", but I agreed to explore this opportunity and be open minded to what it might offer or evolve into.
I was incredibly nervous for the first treatment for countless reasons. My head was full of questions - would I connect with the client? would the client trust me? would the client be receptive to receiving my touch? how would I react to sitting with someone at their end of life? I kept reminding myself to trust the process and if it didn't work for any reason this professional relationship was not obligated to continue.
A few minutes into the first treatment the client had tears streaming down their face, and for the next thirty minutes it was like time stood still - I was so deeply moved by the power of a gentle therapeutic touch. I remember finishing the treatment and leaving the facility and sitting in my car with tears streaming down my face trying to process what I had just experienced.
This opportunity absolutely changed my life and moved me in ways I am not sure I can truly explain, but the words that resonate the most are beautiful, intention, therapeutic presence, and connection.
The privilege of showing up and being present with someone at that stage in their journey is breathtakingly beautiful. This client shared their wisdom, their experiences, and parts of their story with me over the last few months in the most raw and peaceful way. Some treatments we exchanged laughter and conversations, other treatments the only sound was the music playing in the background. Unlike therapeutic massage where there is a more specific or functional goal, the intention with a palliative care client is so uniquely different - providing a gentle touch that conveys a message they are tended to, they are seen, they are honoured.
So as I write this, I know that I am not done processing this experience, nor am I sure how or what this experience will offer me professionally moving forward. What I do know is this - touch truly is a primal connection that is critical both at the beginning and end stages of life.
With love & gratitude,
Shanda
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